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NEWS FLASH: THE DRUNKEN DWARF ENTERS REHAB FOR THE 1,000,346TH TIME.

Thousands of RuneScape players stormed the dwarvan headquarters today
demanding that the Dwarf officials do something about that Drunken
Dwarf.

"It's just really irritating," one player commented. "Here I am,
obviously in the middle of a fight for my life with a Blue Dragon,
when this bloke shows up and demands I take a beer and a kebab from
him. Like I have time for socializing right then. The dwarves have to
take some responsibility!"

Another player was overheard muttering, "It might be different if the
beer were any good or the kebab actually tasted like something I
wanted to eat or healed some health. But they aren't. I think the
Drunken Dwarf is a little dodgy just like his kebabs."

A spokesdwarf announced that officials were taking the complaints
seriously and had talked the Drunken Dwarf into trying Rehab yet once
again.

"Well of course we are taking the players complaints seriously. We
dont want the humans to think we are condoning public drunkenness. But
you all have to understand, we have been dealing with the Drunken
Dwarf for ages. He just really likes his beer."

Not all dwarves are happy with the Dwarvan officials' response to the
player protests however.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You humans aren't very friendly are you? First off,
you are always trying to kill us for our pick axes and weapons and the
like. But when one of us tries to be a little nice it's, 'Aarrgh, what
does that dwarf want now!' I mean all the bloke wants to do is give
you a drink and a snack and say 'ello and you act like he is
committing a crime," complained one dwarf who insisted on remaining
anonymous.

When asked if he thought this stint in rehab might do the trick the
Drunken Dwarf replied, "hic."