I know you guys would hate me for this....

On 27khz Polychromic shrieked:
> Ophidian wrote:
>>Ashikaga wrote:
>>> If I were to die
>>> right now, I think the first thing that would make me cry during the final
>>> review is actually not able to write to you guys again.
>
> I'd just be thinking "can I have ur stuff?" and "did you fix your car
> before you died?" because I don't want a busted car. Then I'd PLONK you
> for being such an emo.

(*sighs*) Didn't say I wanted to give you my stuff anyways.... Not that I
have much to give you now even if I wanted.

>>*raises eyebrow*
>
> The monobrow strikes again!

UNIbrow..., the correct term is unibrow!!! And that's a state of being
rather than a state of mind.... j/k

>>You'd let a little thing like death stop your posting? If *I* died
>>tomorrow, I'd post an announcement ASAP!
>
> You could get a deadman switch program that is coded to do particular
> tasks when it is not deactivated to do this for you. I bet they even have
> one with a pre-programmed "Oops, too much autoerotic asphyxiation" option
> just for you!

That's not even funny.... Didn't we lose someone from AEA? Bad form,
Poly.

Okay, I know I really should go out and find someone I can "love" instead
of pestering you. But before I got that, can't you guys just be good
friends at least? Anyways, even if you guys don't like me, I'll continue
to like you guys (not in that way, of course).

--
Ashikaga a28
 >> Stay informed about: I know you guys would hate me for this.... 

Ashikaga wrote:
> But it's that time of the year to say I love you guys.... I don't know, I
> am somewhat insecure recently. Maybe it's the RL complications that are
> bothering me (bother is an understatement) so I need extra attention just
> to make me feel okay. Sorry if it sounds selfish. I am getting very
> paranoid recently, so I think I need to write something, just so I can cool
> myself and take my mind off.
>
> You guys are about the best group of friends I have. If I were to die
> right now, I think the first thing that would make me cry during the final
> review is actually not able to write to you guys again.
>

I have taken precautions to let people know.

-thehawk
 >> Stay informed about: I know you guys would hate me for this.... 

Ashikaga wrote:
> But it's that time of the year to say I love you guys.... I don't know, I
> am somewhat insecure recently. Maybe it's the RL complications that are
> bothering me (bother is an understatement) so I need extra attention just
> to make me feel okay. Sorry if it sounds selfish. I am getting very
> paranoid recently, so I think I need to write something, just so I can cool
> myself and take my mind off.
>
> You guys are about the best group of friends I have. If I were to die
> right now, I think the first thing that would make me cry during the final
> review is actually not able to write to you guys again.
>
Aww, we all love you Ashi. You're like a cute little puppy.

--

Witty Dragon
 >> Stay informed about: I know you guys would hate me for this.... 

On 12khz Polychromic shrieked:
> Ashikaga wrote:
>
>>(*sighs*) Didn't say I wanted to give you my stuff anyways.... Not that I
>>have much to give you now even if I wanted.
>
> So what is the status with your car? Someone else asked a few days ago
> but I never saw your reply. And what's the status with your evil boss?

The car was sold. Quitting the job so I don't have to deal with the evil
boss and the car theft problem. Other complication still exist but not
convenient talk over the Internet.

--
Ashikaga a28
 >> Stay informed about: I know you guys would hate me for this.... 

Ashikaga wrote:
> On 12khz Polychromic shrieked:
>> Ashikaga wrote:
>>
>>> (*sighs*) Didn't say I wanted to give you my stuff anyways.... Not that I
>>> have much to give you now even if I wanted.
>> So what is the status with your car? Someone else asked a few days ago
>> but I never saw your reply. And what's the status with your evil boss?
>
> The car was sold. Quitting the job so I don't have to deal with the evil
> boss and the car theft problem. Other complication still exist but not
> convenient talk over the Internet.
>

Dude!

What are you going to do for disposable income, for things like that
cute tea set, and stuff like that?

-thehawk
 >> Stay informed about: I know you guys would hate me for this.... 

On 49khz pibbur shrieked:
> Ashikaga wrote:
<snip>
> This is one of the rare occasions where I'll remain serious and omit the
> joking.
>
> First of all: needing attention is not selfish, and there's no reason to
> hate you. From where did you get that impression? OK, we tend to tease you
> quite a lot, but at least from me it's all very friendly. And you seem to
> handle it very well.
>
> I know you have been going through hard times, hating your job and the
> other recent complications. This is sad and I hope things will turn for
> the better. As I've said before: going back to school is an indication
> that you are taking control of your life, in stead of letting life just
> happen to you. This is good.
>
> I am, however, sometimes a bit uncertain about the way you choose to
> interprete things. In general there are a lot if different ways of
> interpreting what happens to you, why people say the things they say to
> you and so on. The default interpretation is not necessarily the correct
> one. One of the things that has been in focus in therapy for my
> depressions (and I'm not saying that you need therapy) is the way I think
> about what happens to me. If someone says something to me which may in any
> way be interpreted as a personal attack because they are angry with me,
> then that's the way I interprete it. Little by little I've learned to stop
> and ask myself why I react the way I do, and if things may have a
> different meaning than what I think primarily. And usually, that is indeed
> the case.
>
> Does this make any sense to you?
>
> Take care.

Thanks for the consolation. Yes, it all makes sense and I've been through
this before so I know it's not good for my mental health to keep fulfilling
those stupid prophecies. I usually try very hard not to interpret stuff
negatively and give people a long benefit of the doubts otherwise it would
last this long. Anyways, glad I am quitting. We have several managers and
some of us sales coaches are quitting this week, so it's not really about
the weak iAshi can't take the little dainty flick. I've been through this
kind of matter for almost two decades now, so don't worry about me being
childish and stuff. It's better just let them win (though it may not be
the right thing to do), just for the sake of my own health. It's not worth
it.

--
Ashikaga a28
 >> Stay informed about: I know you guys would hate me for this.... 

On 23khz Polychromic shrieked:
> Witty Dragon wrote:
>>Ashikaga wrote:
>>> But it's that time of the year to say I love you guys.... I don't know, I
>>> am somewhat insecure recently. Maybe it's the RL complications that are
>>> bothering me (bother is an understatement) so I need extra attention just
>>> to make me feel okay. Sorry if it sounds selfish. I am getting very
>>> paranoid recently, so I think I need to write something, just so I can cool
>>> myself and take my mind off.
>>>
>>> You guys are about the best group of friends I have. If I were to die
>>> right now, I think the first thing that would make me cry during the final
>>> review is actually not able to write to you guys again.
>>>
>>Aww, we all love you Ashi. You're like a cute little puppy.
>
> That isn't yet house trained. Bad iAshi! Bad! *Rubs iAshi's nose in it*

If I were a household pet, I want to be a cat! :-p CAT! CAT! CAT!

--
Ashikaga a28
 >> Stay informed about: I know you guys would hate me for this.... 

Ashikaga wrote:
> On 23khz Polychromic shrieked:
>> Witty Dragon wrote:
>>> Ashikaga wrote:
>>>> But it's that time of the year to say I love you guys.... I don't know, I
>>>> am somewhat insecure recently. Maybe it's the RL complications that are
>>>> bothering me (bother is an understatement) so I need extra attention just
>>>> to make me feel okay. Sorry if it sounds selfish. I am getting very
>>>> paranoid recently, so I think I need to write something, just so I can cool
>>>> myself and take my mind off.
>>>>
>>>> You guys are about the best group of friends I have. If I were to die
>>>> right now, I think the first thing that would make me cry during the final
>>>> review is actually not able to write to you guys again.
>>>>
>>> Aww, we all love you Ashi. You're like a cute little puppy.
>> That isn't yet house trained. Bad iAshi! Bad! *Rubs iAshi's nose in it*
>
> If I were a household pet, I want to be a cat! :-p CAT! CAT! CAT!
>

TheCat(tm) says you have much to learn before you are ready to be a cat.

-thehawk
 >> Stay informed about: I know you guys would hate me for this.... 

On 24khz thehawk shrieked:
> Ashikaga wrote:
<snip>
>> If I were a household pet, I want to be a cat! :-p CAT! CAT! CAT!
>
> TheCat(tm) says you have much to learn before you are ready to be a cat.

I agree. I often feel cats have much tougher lives then we do. All they
do is waiting for death.

--
Ashikaga a28
 >> Stay informed about: I know you guys would hate me for this.... 

Ashikaga wrote:
> On 24khz thehawk shrieked:
>> Ashikaga wrote:
> <snip>
>>> If I were a household pet, I want to be a cat! :-p CAT! CAT! CAT!
>> TheCat(tm) says you have much to learn before you are ready to be a cat.
>
> I agree. I often feel cats have much tougher lives then we do. All they
> do is waiting for death.
>

Waiting for death? Are you mental? Waited on hand and foot, more like
it. Fed, all their needs taken care of, never wanting for anything,
doing nothing but playing and lounging and sleeping..

-thehawk
 >> Stay informed about: I know you guys would hate me for this.... 

On 20khz thehawk shrieked:
> Ashikaga wrote:
>> On 12khz Polychromic shrieked:
>>> Ashikaga wrote:
>>>
>>>> (*sighs*) Didn't say I wanted to give you my stuff anyways.... Not that I
>>>> have much to give you now even if I wanted.
>>> So what is the status with your car? Someone else asked a few days ago
>>> but I never saw your reply. And what's the status with your evil boss?
>>
>> The car was sold. Quitting the job so I don't have to deal with the evil
>> boss and the car theft problem. Other complication still exist but not
>> convenient talk over the Internet.
>
> Dude!
>
> What are you going to do for disposable income, for things like that
> cute tea set, and stuff like that?

I can be frugal. I lived almost two years without income, remember?
(though I live with my parents, so that doesn't mean you should try it at
home...) eBay is your friend too. You can buy and sell stuff over there,
so you literally only have to pay a little price difference and shipping
cost then you get stuff you may or may not need....

Remember money can't buy happiness. It's how you use the money (the event)
that adds the happiness. Don't you think if you bought some flowers to
your girlfriend, it's that smile you got from her that adds happiness,
rather than about how much you paid for the flowers that adds to your
happiness? To be honest, I'd rather receive flowers I like, but it costs
very little, then expensive flower that I don't like (using flowers as
example only). If someone is paying attention to what I like, then that's
more important than the monetary value of the gift which means extremely
little to me.

I like that tea set alright, but it's about the process, the anticipation
(I love waiting for mails or parcels for some really odd reason; I guess it
gives me hope). I really don't mind if the set is expensive or not (though
I care about quality big time, so sometimes they can get expensive), it's
still happiness. If you can buy a smile, then it's cheap.

Incidentally, I handed out a winning ticket to a customer today (she won
two tickets to see Dave Mathew Band live) and she didn't feel too excited,
so it was a total bummer for me.

--
Ashikaga a28
 >> Stay informed about: I know you guys would hate me for this.... 

thehawk wrote:

> If I never had to worry about money again, I would not face any of these
> problems you speak of. There is so much -world- out there to see. So
> many things to do. Things to learn, people to meet, and things like
> that. I have a list of things I want to accomplish. Maybe you need one
> too.

Butting in...

I've actually made a nice pretty list of things to do before I die.
Actually, the list has only two things on it right now, but it could grow!

1. Write a book
2. Write a symphony (or some sort of large orchestral work)

I have a list of things to do after I die as well, but that's beside the
point!

-Ophidian
 >> Stay informed about: I know you guys would hate me for this.... 

Quoth Ashikaga <citizenashi.RemoveThis@yahoo.com>:
....
>We don't think the same way, obviously. If you were a domestic cat, what
>do you think your purpose is? You literally have no meaning of life, so
>isn't that like waiting for death? Get fed, get taken care of suddenly all
>mean nothing to you, because you are a cat that doesn't have to take on
>responsibility. I was out of work for two years and I felt like I was
>waiting for death, so that's why I took on gardening before I landed on a
>job that also felt like waiting for death....

You're seriously anthropomorphising here, Ashi. Cats don't have deep
naval-gazing sessions wondering where their life is going, because
they're not people -- they're cats. Provided they get fed, petted and
somewhere to run around, they're cool.

>If you go look at Ranmao, you'd see he is actually quite sad (especially
>nowadays since he is getting very old).

I'm not at all convinced cats do "sad". If you mean he's not as
ebullient as he used to be, that's obviously because he's slowed down as
he's aged.

>Sometimes he'd crave for attention, which was not the way he used to be.
>Nowadays, he would run to ee me. It's very lonely to be a cat

If there isn't someone at home most of the time, I always favour getting
two cats (provided they get on well), so they can keep one another
company.

>(and they puke furballs, and Ranmao has some asthma-like problem lately).

Age. Happens to the best of us. Doesn't mean he's miserable the whole
time, though.
--
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 >> Stay informed about: I know you guys would hate me for this....