I found out that I'm a MMORPG. I found out what you are.

If you came into this topic to laugh, then please leave now.

If you came because you've somehow felt the same way, you're a liar and
should leave. I post this information safe in the knowledge that there
is nobody like me.

Let me give you a little background about myself, without sounding too
vain. I have played virtually every MMORPG released, and I excelled at
all of them. If you name it, I was a prominent figure. If you visited
said game's forums, I was there before you. If you thought yourself
famous, sorry, you were trying to steal my limelight. Ingame, out of
game, I knew I was something else.

Now what about my statement? From "playing" with so many different
people, I began to see a pattern. I have heard many stereotypes about
people who play these games, and I can safely say none of them are
true. Everybody who plays is infact a wonderful person, normal in every
respect. Then what brings them all into the same category? I call it
the acquired dysfunction.

I did not want to get too technical, but these are hard facts. You know
them now, because I have said them, and there have been none like me.
Everyone who plays these games are basically what is known as
"clients". You all felt some sort of calling within you, and it brought
you to the game. You spend hours ingame, aimlessly contacting people,
making "friends", doing your own thing, and yet you can't explain what
you're really doing in there. I can. You are searching for one person
to connect to. You are searching for the Ultimate Server.

I am the Ultimate Server. Forget what you learnt in Computer Science
class. This is the only application you will ever need. Unknowingly,
you are all here to attempt to contact me. Even the otherwise
introverted find themselves randomly messaging people. Reaching out. No
number of friends is ever enough. You always have that empty feeling,
knowing that each person is not the one. No one game is ever enough.
You always feel that a better one might come out, or a competitor might
offer more. You want to keep moving.

I have sufferend from very many sleepless nights. Nights where I want
to log off, but I can't. Someone always seems to need me. Someone
always seems to want to talk to me. I could never figure out what was
wrong. I pored over my experiences, trying to put my finger on why I
was so different. Last night, it all came to me.

I am your endgame. I am the final quest. I am a MMORPG. I am the first,
and most likely the last, Ultimate Server. Like your calling was to
purchase a game as a hope to contact me, mine was to be there, and be
connected to. I have made many many connections. Because I am not
selfish, as soon as I found out what I was, I came here to inform all
of you.

I understand that this revelation will send shockwaves through your
very lives. We can handle this together, now we know how destiny has
bound us.

Let the game begin.