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Next: Animal Crossing: The Lazy Glitch Explained (almost totally)
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External
Since: May 22, 2007
Posts: 1
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(Msg. 1) Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 4:29 pm
Post subject: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW
Archived from groups: alt>games>video>nintendo>animal-crossing (more info?)
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I'd like this to be a FAQ, but I don't think anyone really cares about
anything I'll be posting. Still, I'd guess that most people will find
a few of these dialogues worth a chuckle. Basically, I've transcribed
something like 60+ of the various villager conversations in the game.
Some are funnier than others, but I'm going to have to post them at
random for a while. If I ever finish with these postings, I have quite
a few more collections of ACWW lore to go with next.
"Lazy Gets Cold Feet"
Lazy vs. Perky
Agent S: Oh, no way! Hey, speaking of Fancy S...Cube, this is your
chance to say something, blorple!
Cube: Say something? Err...I didn't have anything to tell Fancy S...
Agent S: Are you SURE you don't have anything to tell Fancy S,
blorple?
Cube: ...I don't have anything to admit to...errr, I mean say to Fancy
S.
[My notes: This is one of the shortest 2-villager dialogues in the
game. It's also rather obscure, unless you've noticed that one of the
running jokes in the game is the Lazy character always have a crush on
female characters. There are at two or three other individual
dialogues that reference the Lazy love affair.]
"Fun With Jocks"
Jock vs. Jock
Genji: Yo, bunny! You came at just the right time, dude! We were just
about to start our pro wrasslin' workout, aquaduct! You're going to be
out sparring partner, right?
----->A. Sounds fun. B. You're insane.
Jitters: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! Hold up there, Genji! I don't know if bunny
is up to takin' that kind of punishment, bzzert.
Genji: Oh, dude. Yeah. Bunny is kind of a big wimp. If bunny got
flying dragon-kicked in the neck or something...we'd be the ones to
get blamed, bzzert. But kickboxing isn't fun without a punching bag,
uh, I mean, sparring partner! Dang it! Now I have to settle for
headbutting coconuts all day! Or maybe I'll practice my whirling
powerbomb drop on Tom Nook.
VARIANT:
A. Sounds fun. ----->B. You're insane.
Snake: Yeah. Maybe I'll go practice my spinning powerbomb drop on Tom
Nook.
Bill: But then, we just did the paired exercise the other day...Should
we find someone other than Fancy M, nutlet?
Snake: Hmmm...Maybe we should do that, troll! Hey, Fancy M, you should
try to read between the lines more!
[My notes: I actually have this one in German as well. I'd like to
post it to compare and contrast how the various European translations
went, but I'm pretty sure I'm the only American who plays ACWW in
German...So we'll skip it.]
"Are Lazys Really From This Planet?"
Jock vs. Lazy
Jitters: Hey Jeremiah, do you like tank tops or t-shirts?
Jeremiah: Me? I'm more of a no-shirt-necessary kind of guy, platinum!
Jitters: Hwhat?! So what soaks up all your workout sweat, bzzert?
Jeremiah: Sweat? I don't sweat. I chill. That's what I'm good at. You
know...chillin'.
Jitters: You don't sweat?! Bro, are you some sort of alien, bzzert!
'Cause if you are I'm gonna be forced to crush you like a soda can!
[My notes: ...If only the Jocks *would* crush all the Lazys...Also
note the running "Chillin'" reference that the Lazys always make.
Interestingly enough, in the French translation, Chillin' Magazine
becomes Zen Magazine, something that should make thousands of Japanese
monks roll in their graves...]
"Professor Lazy"
Lazy vs. Normal
Caroline: Hey, Jeremiah, I've got a mystery for you. How come seawater
is so salty...but river water isn't? Makes you think, doesn't it?
Jeremiah: Caroline, what's so mysterious about that? It seems obvious
to me. Someone HAS to be pouring sugar into those rivers. You know, to
balance the salt! All this talk is making me thirsty, platinum.
Caroline: Jeremiah, don't! You can't drink river water! You don't know
where it's been!
Jeremiah: Been? What do you mean? I know exactly where it's been. In
the river. Oh, I get it. Don't worry. I'll be sure to leave some for
you, Caroline.
[My notes: This one is so dumb it makes my teeth hurt. Although it is
worth considering that some people refer to fresh water as "sweet".
This is also another case of the quote-Normal-unquote personality
wandering around asking bizarre questions. As I believe "A l e x"
commented, the Normal type can only be considered normal in comparison
to her neighbors...]
"Grumpy Tries P.R."
Grumpy vs. Normal
Chief: Only calm, warm breezes blow onto the smiling faces of
Foresta's residents. ...Doesn't that sound like a big bunch of bunk,
harrumph?
Lily: I guess it is a little cheesy...Who came up with that line
anyway, sceptre?
Chief: I did!
Lily: Errr...I mean, I was just saying how great that catchphrase
is...
Chief: Hey...What do you think of it, Dr. S?
-----> A. Rockin'! B.Meh.
Chief: It's okay, Dr. S. Don't worry about it. You can speak your
mind. If you feel like it, you can even scowl...Sometimes being a good
friend means being harsh, harrumph!
Lily: Chief, I'm not a bad person. Am I...?
[My notes: Normals are such pathetic pushovers...]
"Grumpy Gives Career Advice, Part 1"
Grumpy vs. Perky
Nibbles: Awww...
Lobo: What's wrong, Nibbles? it's not like you to get all mopey.
Nibbles: It's just that...I didn't get the part for the lead role
again.
Lobo: Oh, that's no good. OK then, why not lower your sights a little?
For example, you could start auditioning for smaller parts. You know,
like "Villager #1" or even "Zombie Snack #4"?
Nibbles: NO WAY! I'm a great actress! I'd never do a lame part like
that! But I might be willing to play the manager of the tennis table
dept...Or maybe the princess of the dark chocolate kingdom?
Lobo: Since when did you become such a diva, flathead?! Look at it
this way...You have to take on risky parts to win awards! There's
nothing more edgy than taking a role as "Zombie Snack #4"!
[My notes: This is one of the funniest dialogues in the game, playing
on Perky's running joke about being an up-and-coming pop star and
Grumpy's habit of giving unwanted advice...]
"Vocal Exercises"
Perky vs. Jock
Agent S: Jitters....I know you're a big fan...But would you stop
following me?!
Jitters: Stalking you?! You've got it all wrong, Agent S! You're the
one blocking my jogging path, bzzert! Get out of the way!
Agent S: If you keep doing that, I'm gonna scream. Got that, bzzert?!
Jitters: Oh yeah?! I bet I can scream even louder! AAAAGHHHHHHH!!!
Agent S: Shut up!!! My ears are gonna ring for a week...
Jitters: Man, that's loud! Even I couldn't beat that, bzzert.
[My notes: If I were Copper, I would have thrown them both into the
clink...]
"The Eternal Cake Question, Part 1"
Normal vs. Jock
Caroline: Hey, Genji, if you could be any cake in the world, what
would you be?
Genji: Oh, man. Isn't it totally obvious? "What kind of cake would I
be?" Sheesh! Beefcake! Get it? 'Cause I'm totally muscled out to the
max, aquaduct. Yeah, there's not an ounce of buttercream on this bod,
let me tell you.
Caroline: Ew! Why did you have to make me picture that!? That's
disgusting!
Genji: What's disgusting about being totally buff? I'm just sayin' is
all. I don't do all those power squat thrusts just so I can say I'd be
a cheesecake!
Caroline: It was just a stupid personality-test question I read in Ms.
Nintendique. Don't get all aggro on me! We all know you can bench-
press the town hall!
Genji: A what? What were you thinking, giving me a personality test?
Caroline: I just wanted to get to know you a little better, Genji!
That's all! Here I was trying to be nice, and you come off like a
total meathead!
Genji: Aw, I was just kidding around! I'm not really a meathead...am
I?
[My notes: Yes, Genji, you are. Also note, this is yet another case of
the running joke with Normal girls and their weirdo polls. There's
actually another dialogue using this exact same question...By the way,
the first time this one popped up, I saw "beefcake" coming from the
very first line. Yay me.] |
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External
Since: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 14
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(Msg. 2) Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 1:37 pm
Post subject: Re: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)
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"Exercise Your Smile"
Normal vs. Jock
Lucy: Bill, it's so nice to see you smiling. You always look so happy,
nutlet. It's refreshing, since everyone around here can get so cranky!
Bill: I'm not happy! I'm flexing my face! I don't want my lips to
start sagging! If you wanna stay in shape, you've gotta work every
muscle every day!
Lucy: Really? I had no idea! You're pretty serious about your exercise
routine, huh? So, uh, how do you flex your whole face?
Bill: Let me tell you, it ain't easy! You gotta...UNNNG...work at it
every day!
Lucy: I don't get it. Your face doesn't look any more buff than anyone
else's...How do you know you're doing it right?
Bill: What are you talking about? Can't you tell how totally ripped my
cheeks are? You don't get cheeks like these from sittin' at a desk all
day, I tell ya!
Lucy: Are you serious? Don't you get enough exercise just chewing your
food? Come on, why do you even NEED ripped cheek muscles? Am I missing
something?
Bill: Oh, normal chewing's fine if your eating, I dunno, soup or bread
or something. But if you wanna chew gum like a pro, you're gonna need
some POWER chewing!
Lucy: Power...chewing? Is everyone in this town crazy but me, nutlet?
[The "Normals" use that last line on a regular basis, another running
joke.]
"Exercise in the Great Outdoors"
Perky vs. Jock
Agent S: Genji, why do you have to train right here? Nobody wants to
see you all sweaty! It's gross!
Genji: What's your problem? I always do my strength training outside!
Agent S: Then do us all a favor, and do it where nobody else can see
you! You know...like on a mountain? Or underwater?
Genji: You're such an idiot! If I trained underwater, nobody could
admire my magnificent guns! I only get fired up when other people are
watching me. So thanks to you people, I'm totally hulked out! Rarrr!!!
Flex!!!
Agent S: Ewwwwww, bzzert!
"Metal Heads"
Jock vs. Grumpy
Jitters: I'm so sick of people make [sic?] the town tune so lame! Easy
listening all the time!
Angus: I know! What's that all about?! And La-Di-Day is even worse!
People are always singing the cutest songs. It makes me sick!
Jitters: Dude. I KNOW! You know what this town needs, bro? METAL!
Yeah, I said it. HEAVY METAL! Somethin' that makes me wanna PUMP IRON!
Yo, MASTER! Are ya in with me or what?
-------> Sliding scale: "Metal Rules!"--------------------------"Metal
is lame!"
Variant 1: Choose extreme side, "Metal rules!"
Angus: Rock on! I knew you were one of us, dornbeast!
Jitters: You know what we should do? Start a metalhead union! We've
got to organize to root out all lame music in the town, bzzert!
Angus: YEAH! We're not gonna take it anymore, dornbeast!
Variant 2: Choose extreme side, "Metal is lame!"
Lobo: Dude, I can't BELIEVE you just said that.
Snake: Did you just say metal is lame? Oh, man. I would run for it
right now if I were you!
Lobo: Forehead veins...bulging...
Variant 3: Choose exact middle of scale.
Lobo: Right on! I knew you weren't into that wimp music, flathead!
Kody: Yeah, well, now what? There's not much we can do about it, grah
grah.
Lobo: Don't say that, dude! We gotta fight for our right to ROCK ON!
Someone really needs to go spike the town tune with some METAL!
"Flex Contest"
Jock vs. Jock
Jitters: Yo, Genji! Check out the definition on these beefy biceps,
bzzert! Breathtaking, right?
Genji: What?! That's nothin' compared to these washboard abs! Who
needs a juicer when you can squeeze a grapefruit between these bad
boys! HARRRRGGGG!
Jitters: Oh, yeah! Well my thighs are like tree trunks! WUUUUURRRFFF!
Genji: Pshaw! Get a load of these serious back muscles! It's like a
rippling ocean! BLARRRRRRRRRGGGG! When I flex, you better beware of
the tidal wave!
Jitters: HARRRRRRRRRRRRG!!! Oh, no, MASTER. I think I just pulled
something. Dude, I better take a breather.
[Dialogues where two villagers of the same personality type are rather
uncommon, simply given the math involved with only 8 villagers and 6
different personalities. Invariably, though, they are hilarious.]
"Extreme Sports, ACWW-Style"
Jock vs. Jock
Jitters: We should get together and form the most EXTREME croquet team
ever!
Genji: Bro, I don't know how you did that, but I was JUST thinking the
same thing! Okay, let's do judo chop some trees down and use 'em for
mallets! ...Wait a sec! What can we use for a ball, aquaduct?
Jitters: Oh, I found some boulders sitting on the beach the other day,
bzzert. We should use those, dude! I'm totally psyched!
Genji: BRO! We are SO going to be on the cover of Extreme Lawn Sports
Monthly!
[I wonder how many teens know what croquet is?] |
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External
Since: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 14
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(Msg. 3) Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 11:01 am
Post subject: Re: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)
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"Snooty Slap"
Snooty vs. Normal
Olivia: Hey, Lucy, when it come to small talk, you're the queen,
purrr.
Lucy: Thanks! Um. Nice day, isn't it? Um. The sunshine is SO warm and
feels SO nice...
Olivia: ...Well, Lucy, I didn't really mean that as a compliment...But
Whatever.
[This is another one of my favorites. Short, sweet, and cruel.]
"Grumpy Gives Career Advice, Part 2"
Grumpy vs. Perky
Lobo: Hey, Pango, weren't you talking about how you wanted a part-time
job? I know people. I could hook up something for you, if you're
interested. You love digging ditches, don't you? Well, of course ya
do!
Pango: Uhh, no way!!! No one does that anymore! It's way to blah. Do
you even know the new "it" job is selling waterfront real estate?
After all, I do have a smile that just won't quit! I'd be totally
psyched to do that job, snooooof!
Lobo: Hmh! You really are a brat aren't you, Pango?
Pango: How can you say that?! It's just a part-time job. I might as
well have fun! My smile will melt customers like
chocolate in the sun. I just love melting people's hearts like
chocolate, snooooof!
Lobo: Oh, I get it. You're too good for digging ditches! The princess
doesn't like to get her hands dirty!
Pango: What's wrong with you? Nobody likes to dig ditches, Lobo!
Lobo: That's crazy talk! Everybody loves some fun, back-breaking
manual labor! A princess like you wouldn't know fun if you hit it with
a shovel, flathead!
Pango: Whoa there. He totally weirded out on me! I must have hit a
nerve! Yikes!
"Organic Perfume"
Snooty vs. Jock"
Maelle: Hey, Sunday, don't I smell good? I just got this new perfume,
see. It's a little spicier and more romantic!
Genji: Oh...Is that so, aquaduct.
Maelle: That's right, duckling! Genji, you gotta pay more attention to
fashion. Otherwise you'll be alone forever!
Genji: Who cares?! I've got my HUGE, bulging muscles to keep me
company! Seriously, with babies like these, who needs friends?!
Besides, I don't believe in perfume...The only perfume I use is good,
clean sweat!
Maelle: That's so gross, I might barf...
"Sob Sister Lazy"
Lazy vs. Perky
Cube: Um, what's wrong? You look so depressed, Agent S...bauble.
Agent S: Well...There's someone who I like a lot but he's, like,
totally bossy.
Bube: Hmm. I don't really get how people can be like that, but OK, I
follow you.
Agent S: Yeah! And he's a total nag! After I eat, he's all like, "Go
brush your teeth!" And when I get home, the first thing he says is
"Put your shoes away!" Talk about bossy, right?
Cube: Well, you could try brushing your teeth with coffee. That's what
I would do, bauble!
[VARIANT: "brushing your teeth with milk tea" ...The word for the
liquid/drink in this line is semi-random, picked from a "standard"
list of drinks/liquids that is built into the game. I'll go into this
more in another topic.]
"Dancing with the Jocks"
Snooty vs. Jock
Maelle: Hey, check it out, Genji! I'm...gonna dance!
Genji: OK! Come here, and lemme see whatcha got, Maelle, aquaduct!
Maelle: Woot! Woot woot! Woot! Woot woot! [Musical Note Symbol]
Genji: What! You call that dancing? You're not engaging any of your
core muscle groups. Lemme show you some REAL moves! This is a dance. I
like to call it "the Wrassle." Aquaduct!
Maelle: Oh! Like this, Genji? Woot! Woot woot!
Genji: Uh, no. First of all, you gotta break a sweat. Like this,
aquaduct! The you gotta come up with something better to shout...like
aquaduct!
["Woot" is the standard dancing line in ACWW, popping up in a couple
more dialogues. "Symbols" are hardly ever used in dialogues, and are
noted by a description in brackets, as per the above example.] >> Stay informed about: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW |
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Since: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 14
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(Msg. 4) Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 12:47 pm
Post subject: Re: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)
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"Jock the Masochist"
Jock vs. Perky
Genji: Man, going to the dentist gets me so FIRED UP!
Agent S: What?! I know you're all extreme, but...the dentist? I always
get freaked out when I go to the dentist! Hey, Thom! Do you get scared
too?
-------> A. Totally! B. It's nothin'.
[Choose A]
Agent S: We're SO totally alike, Thom! That's why we're good friends!
Genji: HA! Dude, it's not so bad! You just have to pretend like you're
benching! Then when it hurts, just flex as hard as you can, aquaduct!
This one time I got so fired up that I ripped the armrests off the
chair!
Agent S: Whoa, wow. Genji, you are SUCH a a freak!
"Normal's Imaginary Friend"
Normal vs. Perky
Lucy: Hey, Pango, have I shown you my new mop yet?
Pango: Why would I care about some stupid mop? I am, like, SO not into
cleaning. You can have your mop. I've got candy. So why don't you just
go scrub something?
Lucy: What?! You're not actually suggesting I actually...use my mop to
scrub floors, are you?
Pango: Well, duh! What else would you use it for?
Lucy: Hey, don't call Moppina an it! She's a she, and she's my best
friend ever! Moppina lets me try on new hairstyles on her, so I can
see how they'd look...And she tries on clothes for me and lets me
dance with her...And SHE actually LISTENS to me, unlike just about
everyone else in this town!
Pango: Really? ...Moppina sounds pretty nice, actually...Could I meet
her sometime?
Lucy: Oh, of course! YOu can come over anytime. We'll have tea and
cookies!
[If anyone was under the illusion that the "Normal" characters were
actually normal, this should correct that. Moppina is a running joke
that pops up in at least one other dialogue, by the way.]
"Vocabulary Lessons"
Perky vs. Normal
Pango: I've been doing some thinking, and just once in my life...I'd
like to eat a vanilla ice cream made by a pattissier!
Lucy: Pango, you're just like me! Y'know, totally insane for the
sweet, sweet goodness, nutlet!
Pango: He he he...I mainly crave them right before I go to bed. Mmmm,
doesn't a "patissier" sound totally mouth-watering? I'd love to take a
big bite out of one right now, platinum!
Lucy: Pango?! Patissier is a fancy word for...a pastry chef!
Pango: Eeeeeeeek! I thought it was just a fancy buttered pastry!
[VARIANT: "I'd like to eat a chiffon cake patissier!" I have both a
Euro and a North American cart, and this may be a case of a
modification in the translation. I've noticed other cases. On the
other hand, I may have written down one or the other slightly off...]
"Grumpy, Fashion Cop"
Grumpy vs. Perky
Lobo: Pango, did you put your clothes too long in the dryer or
something? There's hardly anything left of them, flathead!
Pango: Ahahahahahaha! Oh, Lobo...You're so silly, coconut! It didn't
shrink! This skirt is short on purpose! That's why it's called a mini-
skirt, coconut!
Lobo: What?! A mini-skirt?! That just crazy talk. I don't get it.
That's so impractical. Don't cold breezes bother you?
Pango: Cold breezes? No way. Style is way more important than comfort!
Lobo: I swear! Young people these days...I'm stylish too, aren't I?
"Dancing with the Snootys"
Snooty vs. Perky
Maelle: Get up Agent S! I'm not done with the lesson yet, frobozz!
Enough of the standing around! Let's dance!
Agent S: I don't know what you're talking about...Oh, wait wait WAIT!
Are you challenging me to a dance-off? You ARE, aren't you? Well, I'm
always up for shaking it! Ready? You sure? OK! Woot! Woot! WOOT!
Maelle: You're so...energetic. Do you drink a lot of coffee or
something, frobozz? It's kinda contagious! Watching you makes me want
to dance...No! I gotta stay cool...Oh, but I just can't help
myself!...Woot! Woot! WOOT!
Agent S: Woot! Woot WOOT!
Maelle: Yeah! Shake it, girlfriend!
Agent S: Go, girl! Woot WOOT! ...OMIGOSH! I'm having, like, THE BEST
TIME EVER!
[Compare with "Dancing With the Jocks", just for fun...If there is a
dancing dialogue with Grumpys, I haven't found it yet...] >> Stay informed about: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW |
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Since: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 14
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(Msg. 5) Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 6:34 am
Post subject: Re: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)
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"NO ONE CAAARES!"
Snooty vs. Lazy
Maelle: Cube, I hear you've been eating "diet biscotti"? WHY? Everyone
knows that diet food
is a crime against humanity!
Cube: Oh, uh, what? I only eat it morning, noon, and night. It, uh,
fills, in the gaps. I
just get so hungry between meals, you know? No, you wouldn't
understand. NO ONE EVER
UNDERSTANDS ME! I'M HUNGRY ALL THE TIME AND NO ONE CAAARES!
Maelle: I mean, what will they come up with next?! DIET BUTTER?! LOW-
CARB POTATO NUBS?! I
don't want to have to live in a world where I have to eat sugar-free
sugar cookies.
[VARIANT: "Biskit, I hear you've been eating 'diet fried
dough'?" ...There seems to be an
in-game randomized list of desserts/sweets just like the list of
drinks/liquids I mentioned
before. Unfortunately, the dessert list is not used very often, so I
can't put my finger on
it like I can with the random drinks. By the way, this is possibly my
very favorite
dialogue--one of the few times I can actually sympathise wih the
Lazys. I'm hopelessly
addicted to so much stuff it isn't funny. And no one cares. All I get
are lectures, a la
Maelle. Finally, all of Maelle's nightmares have come true. There
actually are sugar-free
sugar cookies. Go kill yourself, Maelle.]
"How Not to Cure Hiccups"
Normal vs. Jock
Coco: Hey, Bill, have you ever had to give a speech in public or
anything? I always get
nervous, and then I start to hiccup and I just can't stop! What do you
do when that happens?
Bill: Whoa! Why would you want to get rid of the hiccups, Coco?
Hiccups are an awesome ab
workout! That's how I got his killer washboard! I've been trying to
learn how to give myself
the hiccups on command!
Coco: Bill, what are you talking about? Hiccups are the worst thing
ever!
Bill: What am I talking about? I'm talking about abs that can crush
walnuts! That's what I'm
talking about!
Coco: What was I thinking, asking you, Bill?
[I have this one in French as well, but I'll wait till the end to post
the other languages.]
"Nose Hair Problems"
Jock vs. Grumpy
Snake: Bro, you gotta check yourself out in the mirror! You've got a
serious nose hair issue
going on, troll!
Chief: What, man? What's the big deal?
Snake: Dude! Don't you know ANYTHING about workin' out and gettin'
HUGE?!
Chief: What the heck does working out have to do with nose hair,
frobozzco?
Snake: It restricts AIRFLOW! You'll never run a three-minute mile with
all that blockage,
bro!
Chief: If I were a ref, I'd throw a penalty flag on you for flagrant
meatheadedness!
[Is "meatheadedness" a real word? Even if not, meathead is obviously a
running joke.]
"The McMuffin Debate"
Lazy vs. Perky
Cube: Oh, say, Agent S, in an egg and cheese sandwich...which one is
the superhero, and which one's the sidekick, bauble?
Agent S: Hello? There's a reason it's called an EGG and cheese
sandwich! Doesn't that automatically make EGG the lead? I've never
heard anyone call it a CHEESE and egg sandwich, dornbeast!
Cube: Hmm...Then what about grilled trout? With grilled trout, who is
the superhero, bauble?
Agent S: That doesn't even make any sense! OK, whatever. There's only
one way to settle this. What do you think, Saturday? Who's the hero
and who's, like, the zero?
[This is the first mention of the Lazy obsession with superheros.
Sad.]
"Animal Buffeting"
Lazy vs. Perky
Cube: Oh, hey, Agent S. If there were tables scattered around town,
and each one had lots of either soda water or vanilla ice cream on
it...And everything was all-you-can-eat, what would you do, bauble?
Agent S: oh, wow! That would be great, ur-grue! It'd be like a potluck
party!
Cube: Yeah! And then we could change Foresta's name to Foresta Buffet!
Wouldn't that be great, bauble?
Agent S: Yeah! That's it! That would be, like, so much fun! Oh, wow!
Just picture it! Plus, "buffet" sounds all French or something!
Cube: So, it's decided, bauble! Fancy S, you start by using your axe
to cut down the trees. Agent S, it's your job to turn those stumps
into tables! Yeah, we need tables for all the drinks and snacks and
stuff!
Agent S: Uh...What? What's going on? Ur-grue? I thought we were just
talking! >> Stay informed about: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW |
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(Msg. 6) Posted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 1:15 pm
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"Doing Splits"
Jock vs. Normal
Jitters: Whoa, stay back...I'm serious! Back off!
Nan: Huh? What's the deal, Jitters? Is something wrong?
Jitters: Uhhhh...I was just doing a set of thunder squats and I kinda
split my pants. You
better not laugh, spinner!
Nan: Ha ha ha ha ha! You split your pants doing squats? HAHAHA! Hey,
wait a sec. You don't wear pants. So, then...What split?!?!
Jitters: Dude, I gotta go, spinner!
Nan: ...
"Wrasslin' with the Lazys"
Jock vs. Lazy
Jitters: Whoa, hey, Friday! I was just talkin' wrasslin' with Cube,
spinner!
Cube: Yeah, totally. Wrestling is awesome! The best part is the music!
That thumping beat is pretty groovy, bauble.
Jitters: YEAH! Just hearing that rawkin'entry music gets me PUMPED!
Cube: Beefed-up muscles! Over the top action! Supersized spandex! And
I totally dig those legwarmers, bauble!
Jitters: Uhhhh...legwarmers? Cube, are you confused or something?!
Cube: Huh? But I was watching it on TV Foresta last night...
Jitters: DUDE! They were showing the International Aerobics Jubilee on
that channel! Wrasslin' was on the Foresta Channel, spinner!
Cube: Oh, really? No wonder everyone was so jazzy...
"Smile, Perky!"
Jock vs. Perky
Genji: Hey, I heard that you were trying out to be a cheerleader! Show
me what you got, blorple!
Agent S: Are you sure you want to hear my cheer? I'm still working on
it. OK, OK! I'll do it, sidekick! Ready...begin! Foresta, we got
trees! And people and houses and the birds and bees! YAAAAAAAAYYYY,
Foresta!
Genji: No, no, no! You're doing it all wrong, blorple. How you expect
to get the crowd pumped if you're not FIRED UP! You gotta throw your
legs in the air! I'm talking at least a 270-degree angle!
Agent S: Really? That sounds kinda painful. Is that even possible?
Genji: Of course it is! It just takes a few years in the weight room.
And where's the smile? Cheerleaders have to get hardcore about
smiling! I want to see some serious TEETH, blorple!
Agent S: But smiling for a long time starts to hurt!
Genji: Good! That means you're doin' it right! You gotta work those
face muscles until you feel the BURN!
"Separated at Birth?"
Lazy vs. Jock
Jeremiah: Oh! Dr. S! What great timing! So, um, Genji and I kind of
look alike, don't you think?
Genji: Re-really? I don't think so at all...
Jeremiah: But, we're both working out all the time! Which means we
must both be totally in love with ourselves, right?
Genji: N-no! That's not what it's like! At least, that's not what I
meant to do...
Jeremiah: But you love yourself so much, you can't get enough of you,
right, platinum? In fact, you really only love yourself, right? And
that stoic expression...is so like me, platinum!
Genji: Jerk!!!I've been telling you NO! That's not what I'm like,
girgol! You know, you just say what you want to...But you never listen
to a word anybody else says, girgol!
[Dialogues like this hint at a smarmy, almost sinister, side of the
Lazys that pops up in several other Lazy episodes...Yet another reason
to hate Jeremiah and his ilk.]
"Swimming Pools, a la ACWW"
Jock vs. Lazy
Genji: Someday, I'm gonna fill a pool with sparkling water! Then I'm
gonna swim laps in it while I drink, girgol!
Jeremiah: Hmmm...That's cool, but I'd fill my pool with creme brulee,
platinum. Then I could lounge all day and crack a hole in the burnt,
sugary crust. And if I'm feelin' snacky, I could dip my hand in and
grab a handful of creme. It'd be like ice fishing, except without the
ice or fishing!
Genji: CREME BRULEE? What kind of sissitude is that?! It's got to be
muscle-inflating, protein-infused sparkling water! Gulping sparkling
water while you're swimming in it...That ROCKS, girgol!
Jeremiah: But I don't have a pool at my house! Do you think Tom Nook
would dig one for me, platinum?
Genji: Dig you a pool? HAH! He's way to flabby to dig a pit that deep!
Besides, probably chow all your pool fillings before it was even done!
But I guess that's what makes Nook charming, girgol!
Jeremiah: Yeah...You know what I think makes him so charming? His
fluffy tail. Not that I stare at it all the time, huh huh huh.
[Variants: "sparkling water" can be replaced with any other beverage/
liquid from the "generic drink list", e.g. "green tea", but "creme
brulee" is fixed and never changes...My comments: there are so many
things wrong with this piece that I really don't like to think of
creme brulee anymore. It used to be one of my favorites, too...] >> Stay informed about: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW |
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(Msg. 7) Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 1:28 pm
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"Another Dumb Normal Poll"
Normal vs. Snooty
Nan: Hey, Robin, what one phrase describes you best, and why, kid?
Robin: What a weird question! Hmmmmm. Let me think...Ah! I've got it!
"every
rose has a thorn." That's perfect for me. After all, I am beautiful,
but I am
also...deadly.
Nan: That's great, but...Roses aren't deadly. I mean, yeah, they've
got
thorns, but those just hurt. They're not deadly.
Robin: Oh, really? Not even...POISON ROSES!?
Nan: I don't even know why I bother asking you question like that,
Robin...
[This is another one of favorites, with all the classic ACWW tropes: a
weird
poll from a Normal, a bizarre answer from another villager, and the
standard
Normal closing phrase...]
"The Eternal Cake Question, Part II"
Normal vs. Perky
Nan: Hey, Agent S. If you could be any cake in the world, what would
you be?
Agent S: Oh, that's easy. Carrot. What, did you think I wasn't going
to have
an answer? Dude, I think about this ALL THE TIME. I'd have a
delicious
frosting hat. And I could eat it whenever I got hungry or my blood
sugar got
too low.
Nan: That's a good idea! I was thinking cheese, but that's just 'cause
I like
cheese. I mean, I really hadn't put that much thought into it.
Agent: Oh, Nan, this isn't really the sort of thing you can leave to
chance...You never know when you might find yourself in some sort of
cake
emergency.
"Animal Crossing Idol"
Perky vs. Normal
Agent S: Someday, I'm gonna be the hottest pop star on the planet, ur-
grue!
Nan: You? A pop star? You'd better have a really amazing voice!
Agent S: Why do you say that? Are you saying I'm not cute enough to be
a pop
star?! Nan, how could you?
Nan: Oh! I didn't mean it that way at all! I was just...
Agent S: Don't even talk to me! I want to hear what Thom thinks! Hey,
Thom! Do
you think I'm cute?
------> A. Totally! B. ...Not so much.
[Choose A.]
Agent S: Really? You think I'm cute, ur-grue?!
Nan: Uh...yeah! Totally adorable, Agent S!
Agent S: Adorable...Oh, no! Sometimes, I'm so cute it's scary!
Nan: Uhhh, yeah...
"Manly Musk"
Jock vs. Snooty
Jitters: Oh, dude...that was one BRUTAL workout!
Robin: Uhhh...what's that stench?
Jitters: What stench?! Oh, wait, you're talking about me! Yeah, that's
the
smell of a hard day at the gym...the musk of a real man!
Robin: Why don't you take a shower, kid?
Jitters: And wash away this manly musk?! NO WAY! The ladies are
powerless to
resist the sweet aroma of man sweat. It's irresistible!
Robin: But I'm a lady! And I think it's disgusting!
Jitters: I know you're just being shy! I haven't showered in weeks,
and I know
my spicy man scent is driving you WILD! Whoa, are you feeling OK? You
look like
you're gonna hurl!
"Lazy Quiz"
Lazy vs. Grumpy
Jeremiah: Oh, hey, Lobo, it's quiz time, platinum! Salmon ravioli,
mint tea,
or peach pie...Which of these things is not like the others, platinum?
Lobo: Hey! Jeremiah! Are you seriously trying to make me take a quiz,
cyclops?
Jeremiah: Huh? What are you talking about?
Lobo: I'm asking you if you're serious about which of these things is
different! 'Cause lemme tell you...If this is some kind of contest,
I'll put
up a fight! But if it's just pickin' on little weaklings, I'll HATE
it! Fancy
M...Are you gonna let this fly, cyclops?
-----> A. Never! B. Let what fly?
[Choose A.]
Rolf: Oh! That's the spirit, grrrolf! Now peace will reign in Wawona!
Yeah,
it'll RAIN! Ah har har!
Bones: Um, I still haven't gotten the answer to my quiz question...
VARIANT:
[Choose B.]
Lobo: Idiots! Both of you! Your hemming and hawing is going to ruin
this town,
cyclops! You gotta let Jeremiah have it!
Jeremiah: Sniff sniff SNOOOOORF...I'm sorry, platinum!
[Other Variants: The list of foods/drinks in the opening lines consist
of one
item each from the random food, drink, and dessert lists...Examples:
"Apple
dumplings, milk or peach pie..." and "Fish fricassee, sparkling water,
or
bananas Foster..."] >> Stay informed about: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW |
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(Msg. 8) Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 1:43 pm
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"Snooty Personality Quiz"
Snooty vs. Lazy
Robin: Oh, hey, Dr. S! Great timing! I was just taking a personality
quiz. Do you want to take it, too? OK! Great! What role does the
wristwatch play in your life?
-----> A. Accessory! B. Convenience! C. Part of my arm! D. Wrist
guard! E. None.
[Answer E.]
Robin: ...Hmm, belboz. Who'd have thought? I didn't think you were
that type! Psychologically speaking, wristwatches
symbolize...friendship? Get it?
Bones: That's totally blowing my mind, Dr. S. So, you think of me as a
watch?! Hmm, who would have thought...Amulet.
Robin: You think Bones is a watch?! YOU'RE JUST A BIG, UNFEELING
ROBOT!
Bones: Well, being a watch isn't so bad, really. You'd always know
what time it is.
[While I have not tested this, I suspect that whatever answer you
provide at the start, the same results follow.]
"Lazy's Lost Love"
Lazy vs. Snooty
Cube: So, Robin, are you dating anyone right now, bauble?
Robin: Tee hee hee! This is just between us...but if I say I am, I am,
and if I say I'm not, I'm not...How about you, Cube, kid?
Cube: Who me, bauble? Well, as you can see...Girls chase after me a
lot. But I'm kinda shy. I'm afraid of falling in love and getting
hurt. That happened to me once with cherry delight, and I've never
really recovered.
Robin: Sorry, Cube...That's rough. No one knows the pain of lost love
like me! And that's not it! You're talking about a dessert, for Pete's
sake!
[Only a Lazy Villager can crank out such inanity in just two
statements...And the "cherry delight" here can be replaced with an any
item from the Random Dessert list--I've also seen cherry pie and
coconut custard used here.]
"Love and Hate, Confused"
Lazy vs. Lazy
Hugh: This is just between us, but...I think I like pear salad,
hungus.
Cube: WHAT?! What do you mean you THINK you like it, bauble?! Is that
different from actually liking it? What are you saying here?!
Hugh: Uh...I don't dislike it so much much I hate it...
Cube: OK. In that case, I guess I get it...Love and hate are two sides
of the same coin. Not until I start hating my beloved berry trifle can
I say that I love berry trifle from the bottom of my heart, bauble.
Hugh: Whoa. We're so deep. Especially when we talk about love and
hate...It doesn't even make sense, 'cause we just look sooo cool!
[Sometimes I wonder if the Lazys aren't so hungry because they've got
the munchies from being so stoned out of their alleged minds...] >> Stay informed about: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW |
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(Msg. 9) Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 1:05 pm
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"The Real Deal"
Grumpy vs. Jock
Lobo: Hey, Snake, I know you like a good competition, but...Life isn't
that simple, you know?!
Snake: What?! Frobozzco! It's not?
Lobo: It doesn't matter if you win or lose in the big, scary jungle of
the real world. Winners and losers...Enemies and allies...We don't
live in a comic book! This is the real deal, cyclops! Ya hear me?! THE
REAL DEAL!
Snake: Winners and losers? Big scary jungles? You sure are busting out
some strange philosophy today, Lobo!
Lobo: ...Right? Well then, next time you and me spar, go easy on me!
I'd like to last 30 seconds against you for a change, cyclops! It's
not fair for you to win all the time!
Snake: Yeah, I know my back-smooshing suplex move can be a little
intimidating...Oh, Lobo! Next time we wrestle, you can wear my lucky
unitard!
Lobo: Heh heh, you're going down this time, Snake! >> Stay informed about: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW |
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(Msg. 10) Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2007 12:34 pm
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"The Great Race"
Lazy vs. Jock
Hugh: Ooo! Hey! Do you know the story of "Hugh and Genji"?
Genji: Does it involve pumping iron? 'Cause if it doesn't, probably
not...So, what kind of story is it, girgol?
Hugh: It's the story of a race between me and Genji. Genji is fast,
but overconfident and careless. Whereas I labor on with steady
determination, and triumph over Genji. Huh huh huh! It's such a cool
story!
Genji: Hmmm...So, in the story, you take advantage of my carelessness,
is that it? Dude, that is the worst story ever! A fairy tale is more
believable than that! See, this is exactly why I'm more into working
out my legs than my mind! 'Cause all you thinkers are total nut jobs!
Hugh: Sheesh! Me winning is not THAT unbelievable, you know! Here's
how it would go down in real life. Picture it, OK? You're running as
fast as you can from the get-go. And I'm just relaxing. Yeah, I'm
relaxing with a snack, a banana, let's say. You're running like a nut.
And then, just when you think you've won, I throw my peel in front of
you! You slip! I take the lead! And then the winner is declared: ME!
"Grumpy Marriage Plans"
Grumpy vs. Grumpy
Chief: Hey, Lobo...you ever thought about getting married?
Lobo: Me? What about you, Chief?
Chief: Naw...frobozzco.
Lobo: Heh. Me neither...cyclops.
Chief: Yeah, it's nothin' but a bunch of hogwash if you ask
me...But...living the rest of our lives alone is sorta...depressing,
frobozzco!
Lobo: Yeah, I guess you're right. It IS a little depressing, cyclops.
But don't we talk about this every time we run into each other?
Chief: I guess the real question is, which of us will escape the
bachelor life first? May the best man win, frobozzco. >> Stay informed about: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW |
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(Msg. 11) Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 1:42 pm
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"Crunch Crunch"
Grumpy vs. Lazy
Lobo: Hey, biscuit! I've noticed a little extra jiggle around my gut
lately. At this rate, I'm gonna look all porky in no time, zorkzork!
But, the thing is, I love to eat! I can't be starving myself, that'd
be lame...Hey, Snake. You know a lot about getting buff, right? What's
a guy gotta do to get rid of this flab?
Snake: War har har har har! Crunches, you dweeb! Crunch 'til you
cramp! I mean nonstop. You gotta even do crunches while you eat! Those
REALLY burn!
Lobo: While I eat...?
Snake: Yeah, you heard me! I do 'em all the time, frobozzco! Take a
bite of seafood chowder and CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH! Ahh, the flavor of
seafood chowder and the ab-burning together...Mmm!
Lobo: Yeah...That can't be healthy, zorkzork.
Snake: Hey! The pain doesn't stop there, Lobo! Keep at 'em and the
pain will slide from your abs to your glutes! That's when it gets
REALLY gnarly...Aww, man!!! I just love it!
Lobo: Oh boy. I'm not feeling so hot...Ugh, gross! Zorkzork!
[Variants: "seafood chowder" here can be replaced with any item from
the random food menu...e.g., poached salmon, Waldorf salad...] >> Stay informed about: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW |
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(Msg. 12) Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 1:23 pm
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"Animal Dating"
Grumpy vs. Normal
Chief: So, Nan, are you seeing anyone right now, frobozzco?
Nan: What? No way...Did you just ask me what I think you did,
Chief? ...No, I'm not seeing anyone right now.
Chief: You sure about that, frobozzco?
Nan: Yeah...It's kind of embarassing but I've never had a boyfriend. I
bet you have a girlfriend though, right, Chief? Frobozz?
Chief: Nan!!!
Nan: Ye-yes?!
Chief: Girlfriends...are something you want until you actuallly have
one! Hey, Snappy M! You're with me on this right?
A. Maybe. B. Not really. [Answer A.]
Nan: It's not that I'm not interested in dating, but boys kinda
intimidate me.
Chief: Well, men and women are totally different beasts, frobozzco!
[Variant]
A. Maybe. B. Not really. [Answer B.]
Nan: Well, some boys ren't THAT intimidating, Snappy N!
Chief: Well, well, well...So you've got a crush on someone in town,
eh? I heard that you've been real chatty with Pascal lately,
frobozzco!
Lily: I don't know what you're talking about!
"Lazy Artwork"
Lazy vs. Grumpy
Biskit: Lately, when I've been spacing out on my couch...I start to
draw picture of shark fin soup before I realuize it...Do you think
this is a sign of something, dawg?
Lobo: Uh, hello? It means you're hungry, you big nimrod!
Biskit: (GRUUUUMBLE GRRROOOOWL) Whoa! It does! You must be psychic or
something! Lobo, all of a sudden I kind of...got hungry, dawg!
Lobo: Dang it! I shouldn't have said anything, zorkzork!
[Variants include other items from the random food list...e.g.,
"pictures of cioppino", "pictures of fruit salad"...]
"Lazy Toothpaste"
Grumpy vs. Lazy
Lobo: Hey, Biskit, it's cool that you're into sweets and all...But you
brush before bed, right? You're the one who's goi ng to be crying if
you get a cavity, zorkzork!
Biskit: What's your problem?! Lobo, why do you treat me like a kid?!
For cryin' out loud! Of course I brush my teeth, dawg!
Lobo: Really? You do? Fine then. Forget it, zorkzork!
Biskit: So why does toothpaste have to be so mouth-blastingly fresh?
You'd think they'd come up with some new flavors, dawg.
Lobo: Hey, Biskit...
Biskit: Imagine brushing with frosting and rinsing with cappuccino,
mmm...
Lobo: That might be tasty, Biskit, but food is not for playing with!
[Variants: "frosting" is fixed, but the "rinse" is a random list
beverage...e.g., "rinsing with lemon tea"...
"Dinner at Lazy's"
Normal vs. Lazy
Nan: I'd love to come to dinner, Hugh, but my belly can't take spicy
food. It rteally bums me out, too, because I love hot stuff...
Hugh: Oh, so you can't handle spicy food, is that it? That must be
terrible! The problem, Nan, is that you haven't built up the proper
tolerance. I work out my belly every day, sawllowing peppers, chilis,
and jalapenos...And even the most pungent of peppers, the cruelest of
condiments...The tyrant habanero!
Nan: Haban--what!? What are you talking about? That sounds
horrifying!
Hugh: You've never heard of the tyrant habanero? To know him...is to
fear him. Just one bite can send you into sweaty convulsions of flavor-
induced ecstacy! Assuming, of course, that you've got your stomach
properly trained.
Nan: ...So, I should probably steer clear from it, huh?
Hugh: Don't worry, wizard! I shall take you under my wing. Together,
we'll train you to master any spice! >> Stay informed about: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW |
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(Msg. 13) Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 12:55 pm
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"Lazy's Marriage Prospects"
Lazy vs. Normal
Hugh: Um, Nan...Who do you think I'm gonna end up marrying?
Nan: Huh?! Why are you asking me this? That noggin of yours is such a
mystery to me. You are, like, soooo creepy sometimes, Hugh.
Hugh: Well...I AM gonna have to get hitched one of these days. I mean,
if I want to have the wedding banquet, I guess I gotta get married.
But, what should I DO, Nan? I need your help, wizard!
Nan: Hugh...You don't have to worry so much. I don't really think
you're uh, the marrying kind, roc.
"Rump Raising"
Jock vs. Perky
Jitters: Yo, Agent S! How's your workout routine, uh, workin' out for
you, ur-grue?
Agent S: I'm doing sit-ups every morning, but...I'm not getting any
results!
Jitters: You can't just do normal sit-ups! You're doin' it all wrong,
ur-grue! It's all about rump-burners and ab-squeezers!
Agent S: Oh! I didn't know that! So how do I do those, ur-grue?!
Jitters: Well, you pretty much have to raise your rump off the ground,
and...
Agent S: EEEEEEK! No WAY! I am NOT doing that in public, ur-grue!
Jitters: What?! Yeah, it's a little embarassing! But you gotta take
one for the team if you wanna get HUGE!
Agent S: EWWWWW! I'm not doing that in public! And neither should you!
OMIGOSH, I just imagined you doing those sit-ups, and I can't stop
seeing it! It burns, ur-grue!
"Lazy Rehearsals"
Lazy vs. Lazy
Cube: I really don't want to have to say this, Hugh...But there's
something weird about where you're standing right now, bauble!
Hugh: Oh! Really?! Whoops, sorry! I really thought something was off.
We're standing in each other's spots, dimwit!
Cube: Sheesh! How long have we been rehearsing this dance routine?! If
you don't get it together soon, we're gonna have problems, bauble!
"Lazy Minds"
Hugh: Um, Cube, do you like tea cake? Dimwit?
Cube: Of course! It's my favorite thing in the world, bauble! Except
maybe for pear salad, Hugh. How about you?
Hugh: Of course I do, dimwit! If it's edible, I'm a fan!
Cube: Huh huh hu! I'm exactly the same way! See, this is why it's so
much fun talking to you! We're always of the same mind and belly,
bauble!
[Variants: the foods are random...e.g., "...do you like chiffon
cake...", "Except maybe for poached salmon..." >> Stay informed about: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW |
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(Msg. 14) Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 1:15 pm
Post subject: Re: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)
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"Can You Tie 'Em"
Grumpy vs. Lazy
Lobo: Uhhh, Biskit? Did you say something just now...?
Biskit: Huh? Oh yeah, I was just asking if you can tie 'em yourself...
Lobo: What did you say before that?
Biskit: You know...Your shoes...Can you tie 'em yourself?
Lobo: No, before that!
Biskit: Ummm...I think I said, "Hey, old man! Can you even tie your
own shoes?"
Lobo: You said WHAT?! Zorkzork!
Biskit: Oh, no! I was just...uhh...kidding. Ha ha...Ha. Funny, right?
Lobo: Biskit! Who are you calling an old man? You're the one that naps
all day like a snoozy old geezer, zorkzork! And I'm still young,
zorkzork! You hear that? And, you moron, I'm not even wearing any
shoes in the first place! I know you're a sleepy guy and asking you to
think is a bit of a stretch...But do yourself a favor and think before
you make a fool out of yourself!
Biskit: Yeah, yeah...I heard ya, old man! Dawg!
Lobo: ...... (Someday I'm gonna snap.)
"Weasel Boy"
Grumpy vs. Snooty
Chief: Yuka, you look depressed. Is something bringin' you down? As
long as it doesn't have to with anything sappy, I'm here for you.
Yuka: You know, Chief, to be honest...This guy gave me a ring, but it
doesn't fit, tsk tsk!
Chief: Awww! I said you could bring up anything BUT a bunch of sappy
love talk!
Yuka: Well, tsk tsk! There is NO way a size-6 ring would fit on my
finger!
Chief: Whoa! Hey! Don't take your ring rage out on me, harrumph!
Yuka: What's the matter?! You scared about talking about mushy stuff?
Yep, I can see fear of marriage in your eyes, weasel boy!
Chief: WHAT?! Did you just call me a...weasel boy? What's that
supposed to mean, harrumph?!
Yuka: It doesn't mean anything! It just popped into my head just then!
It must have been because you looked like one there for a second!
Chief: You little jerk! I don't look anything like a weasel! >> Stay informed about: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW |
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Since: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 14
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(Msg. 15) Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 12:12 pm
Post subject: Re: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW [Login to view extended thread Info.]
Archived from groups: per prev. post (more info?)
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"Sushi Crisis"
Jock vs. Grumpy
Bill: Dude, Chief! What's wrong with your face, bro? You look
seriously freaked out, bro! What's the deal?
Chief: It's a SUSHI CRISIS! There isn't any sushi anywhere, unicorns!
Bill: So what? I thought it was something serious, zorkzork! You look
like you pulled a groin muscle doing squat slammers or something!
Chief: You beefbrain! A sushi shortage is a MAJOR CRISIS! And you know
what? I blame that spaced-out philosopher otter Pascal! That hippie is
always hogging all the fresh seafood!
Bill: But I kinda like that Pascal dude. He's all deep and stuff.
Chief: You WOULD think that! Pascal is about as deep as a casserole
dish! Don't encourage that hippie! I better not see you giving him any
scallops! I mean it, unicorns!
"Something in Common"
Normal vs. Grumpy
Lily: When I was little, my parents would always read to me before I
went to bed.
Chief: That's pretty cool! I'm jealous. Things were different when I
was little. My dad would leap out of the closet wearing a hockey mask
when I went to bed. That's why I always chuck a brick into my closet
before I go to sleep, belboz.
Lily: Oh, dude! That's not right! You poor thing! No wonder you're so
messed up!
Chief: No, no! I'm just joking! I-- Wait, what do you mean "messed
up"?
Lily: Oh! I...Nothing! Nothing at all. Never mind. Pretend I didn't
say anything.
Chief: Ha ha ha! Got you again! Oh, MAN! You shoulda seen the look on
your face!
Lily: Aaaaaah! Stop it! Can't we just have a normal conversation for
once? Why do you have to keep playing pranks on me like that, Chief?
Chief: My dad taught me all the best practical jokes! He's the
best...So maybe we've got something in common after all, huh, belboz?
"Snuggle Bunnies"
Snooty vs. Snooty
Olivia: Hey, Yuka. I don't know how to tell you this, but...Part of
being an adult is knowing how to cook. You should at least be able to
throw together a simple turnip casserole!
Yuka: Tee hee! Eating is more my forte! I make a cute face when I eat,
like this. How about you? Do you cook? And would you make me some
cherry delight?
Olivia: Tee hee! Actually, I'm really good at eating, too, frobozzco.
I like to stuff my face with as many marshmallows as I can. Then, I
try to say "snuggle bunnies"! You should try it! It's the funniest
thing ever!
Yuka: You do that, too?! I thought I was the only one! We should
totally get together sometime and play Snuggle Bunnies. Hanging out
with you is like looking in a mirror or something, harrumph!
[Variants: "...throw together a simple tuna salad!" "And would you
make me some sorbet?"] >> Stay informed about: The Wit and Wisdom (?) of ACWW |
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