[PW] Serious Issues Are Serious (Was "Onward...")

External Since: Aug 14, 2007 Posts: 40

>"It's okay, just...try to keep a reign on your impulses. We don't want
>to attract any unwanted attention."

Somewhere, in the fabric of the universe, a thread tore free, packed its
bags, and ambled away from its allotted place, shouting something
demented about "plot devices" and "idiotically premonitory rhetoric." He
shortly lit himself on fire. His family sorely missed him.

At that very moment, in our pokéverse, a hand landed on our
aforementioned couple's shoulders. With a shout, Amber spun around--or
she would have if she hadn't at that point disappeared with a satisfying
"pop!". It was the call of the plot twist: no villain could resist.

Alexandra tore a pokeball from her belt looking around. "What just
happened? Where did Amber and Jason go?"

Elsa, still hackled about the sand shark she'd seen, hurled a rock where
they had been. "Who cares! I bet they ninja'd out of here, leaving us
stranded, which is just as well! Thieves and murderers are...are...are
STUPID!" she finished lamely. Technically she was too wound up to care
about what had actually happened to them, but the very creepy fact that
they had disappeared into thin air creeped her right the heck out.

ShadowWarrior descended on the area, his brow furrowing. "It looks
like...like...i don't know what. But," he bent his head and picked
something up, alighting on Alex's shoulder and depositing it in her
hand, "does this look familiar?"

She examined it. "A murkrow feather?"

"A very big one," he nodded. "That is...odd."

"Oh like we need any more oddities," Elsa snapped.

Warrior tossed a very cool gaze in her direction before spreading his
wings and investigating the disappearance more thoroughly.

--

Elsewhere, in the nothing world, Amber screamed.

Jason screamed.

And Dharak screamed, just for fun.

Of course, no sound came out. The nothing world was nothing, no air, no
sound, no feeling; just black. Jason and Amber screamed because of the
swiftly fading sensations that being transferred to that world induces:
brief but unimaginable, wracking pain.

....

Jason looked around in a panic.

Where am I? he thought frantically. What's going on? That HURT! Where's
Amber? My pokéballs are gone!

And with a sneaking feeling of horror, he realized: his pokéballs
weren't the only kind to be missing.

....

Amber had never felt angrier. She just knew that if she could feel
something, she would be hackling. Dharak, that sneaky, slimy bastard!
What was he doing this time? Finding some other cunning plot to rip
Amber from the fabric of her life, no doubt.

"You could really use some originality," she tried to shout, but it was
like being drowned in air: no way, no how could she make a sound. How
she could breathe, she would never know.

She reached for her belt and fumbled. Didn't she have a belt there? Come
to think of it, her clothes looked unnaturally tight.

....Oh.

She began a long tirade of fierce and very family unfriendly curses.

--

SQUAWK!

"--CKING HELL WHAT THE FUCK SHIT BASTARD!!!" Amber finished, her fists
clenched. Jason had landed at the same time, across her lap. Beneath
them both, ShadowWarrior was not happy.

Alex stared. Elsa gawked. ShadowWarrior prayed for unbroken bones.

Jason was no longer a five-foot-ten-inch-tall rockstar, with bleached
spikes and devilish good looks. He no longer had his masculine physique,
or his debonair glance that could charm a sow away from her slop (as
if). No, instead he sported a lanky, curvy figure; shoulder-length black
hair with the last two inches or so bleached out; big blue eyes; and
hips that could kill a man with a single sway. He...was now a she.

And Amber was suitably pissed. Her own curves had disappeared, to be
replaced with a remarkably handsome male body. Her hair had shrunk up to
the nape of her neck, feathering out as most asian hair does. Her eyes
had gained more of a slant; apparently being male brought out her
father's japanese characteristics in her. Testosterone surged. Her shirt
did too: it rode up to her midriff, and her girly cargo pants clung
uncomfortably to her hips and...other newly discovered areas.

"...Whoa," Jason said, his voice considerably higher than he was used to.

"What the BLOODY DAMN HELL is the matter with you?" Amber snapped in a
baritone.

"What?" Dharak pouted, sounding offended. "Didn't you want a disguise?"

She stammered, speechless. He smirked, disappearing in a flash of
(swiftly-vanishing) feathers.

"Oh...oh, goddish. This is so cliché," she growled. "Things could not
get any--"

Jason clapped a hand over her mouth, to cut off her sentence, pleading
inwardly that the universe had not heard that comment begging for a new
plot twist.

"Please," Warrior coughed. "PLEASE, get off of me!"

TBC

LAWLS. Deal with the testosterone, Amber. DEEEEEEEAL!

External Since: Jul 03, 2007 Posts: 26

On Oct 16, 3:38 pm, "Chet Weaver - Now with Outlook Express!"
<zeroo....RemoveThis@aim.com> wrote:
> "Amber Foxwing" <mightyfoxl....RemoveThis@cox.net> wrote in message
>
> news:ff1g7b$vum$1@aioe.org...
>
>
>
>
>
> > "Can I switch you?"
>
> > "Guys--!"
>
> > "No way. You're funny."
>
> > "I'm going to kill you, now."
>
> > "Hemhem."
>
> > Amber jumped up at the new voice, testosterone raging. "What?" she
> > snapped.
>
> > The man looked at her, then at Jason. He looked confused. He stared at her
> > ears, her claws.
>
> About here, I lost all sense of what was happening.
>

I think this is what happened; Alex was attempting to get Jason and
Amber's attention, though they were distracted by their recent gender-
swap. Finally, a totally unknown newcomer interrupted Amber, who
snapped at him.

That's my take on it anyway, though I could be wrong.