Durholme Evening News - Bring Out Your Dead

A Feature Article
by Steve Lacker

It cannot have escaped the attention of the vigilant citizens of Durholme
that for the last six months the Azraelites have been on a rampant crusade
to exhume every graveyard within the city walls, followed by an obsession
to cremate every dead body they come across in our fair alleys. Where are
they taking them? Why are they taking them? We agreed to investigate this
story following requests from a number of worried Durholme citizens who
have voiced their concerns. Have the Azraelites finally cracked, or is
there some logic to all this?
A member of the Durholme elite (who does not wish to be named) approached
us with the following statement, "We feel that the wishes of the families
were not respected in this matter. It felt as though the damn Azraelites
were riding over us rough-shod to achieve their sick ambitions of lifting
every bloody corpse in the city. What we want to know is what gives them
the right to decide what happens to our relatives and what the hell
happened to them afterwards?" Milton Ure, a lifetime resident of Rat Alley
and purveyor of fine 'meat' pies, had this to say, "I don't know nothin'
'bout no grave-robbin', an' them Azraelites 'ave always bin a funny lot.
All I know is that this new Azraelite woman 'as done a lot of good work
for the people of Rat Alley. She's opened a hospice an' got us food in for
the winter, I won't 'ere a bad word said about her."
Touring the city in my unceasing search for the truth I came across many
similar stories, a mixture of anger and confusion from the wealthier ends
of the city, coupled with gratitude and loyalty to 'the new Azraelite
woman' from the poorer quarters. It is even rumoured that she has been
preaching to the Vetch, and has reopened some of the parish churches to
try and bring the word to the outlying provinces.
There was only one way to get to the truth of the matter. We put the
questions of the citizens of Durholme to 'the new Azraelite woman'
Anabella Thompson. She seemed surprised by the reactions of some of the
citizens of Durholme, and had this response," I am truly sorry for any
grief or confusion this matter has caused. We believed that we had managed
to communicate our intentions clearly, obviously we were mistaken and for
that I apologise. We had attempted to warn the citizens of Durholme of our
intentions before work commenced, but the timetable was hastened somewhat
by the end of the world. I can assure your readers that we had no ill
intentions towards those interred in the graveyards, or their relatives,
we merely wished to ensure that the plague of undead threatening our walls
could not attack us from within. We aimed to eradicate the threat of
undead from inside the city by ensuring that all bodies are laid to rest
with full funerary rites and ceremony upon their demise. We also believed
that exhuming the graveyards with the deepest respect and cremating the
remains was the best way to ensure that the citizens of Durholme did not
have their departed loved ones used as pawns against them in Bayazid's
sick games. Since the completion of the exhumation we have tried to be
vigilant with regards to the newly dead within the city, and I would like
to extend the services of Azrael to all who need it, with no strings
attached, to ensure that those who pass on remain in peace. We aim to see
that everyone's sleep remains undisturbed, and with the opening of the new
churches in Pity Me, Langley and Shinkley, we hope to be able to offer
burial as an alternative to cremation to ensure that all religious needs
are catered to properly. Once again my sincere apologies to any who may
have felt threatened or concerned by our actions, we will endeavour to
assure that any future work of this nature is fully and clearly publicized
beforehand so that concerns can be discussed fully and thoroughly."
So it seems that the infamous Durholme rumour-mill is to blame and that
the intentions of the Azraelite temple remain above board, although it
seems to this reporter that a new, energetic, pro-active approach may well
be what a city bordering on a land of undead needs.
--
Added By The Durholme Evening News using the TT News System -
http://www.dur.ac.uk/treasure.trap/news/