Creation myth - Critique wanted

So I finally got around to writing up the origins of Emisof, what I am
calling my campaign world.

Before I post it, let me mention that I gladly accept comments and
criticism, both positive and negative. WIthout further ado:



In the beginning, there was the seed, and only the seed.

After a time, the seed tried to grow, however as it was the only thing
there was, it had no room. So, out of a need for room, the void was born.
The seed, sensing it had room to grow, tried to grow, and found nothing
in which to grow. Thus, a need once again was discovered, and earth was
born. The seed grew, and found the earth, and was happy. The seed grew,
as seeds are wont to do. The seed then found it needed room for its
leaves to spread. Once again, a need was discovered, and air was born.
The air gave the seed room to grow, and room to stretch out. However, the
seed was confused, and did not know which direction to grow, for all was
dark. A need once again was expressed, and light was born. The light gave
the seed a direction to grow, and the seedling grew happily for a while.
The seedling grew, and then found itself tired, and needing to rest. The
continual light however, provided it with no opportunity to rest. Thus, a
need was once again felt, and darkness was born. The darkness allowed the
seed to rest until it was once again ready to grow. However, the seed
soon found that all this growing was hard work, and it experienced a
sensation new to it. It was thirsty, and needed to drink. Thus need once
again provided, and water was born. Water brought with it the quenching
of the thirst. The seedling grew into a tree and, as trees were wont to
do, dropped seeds. These seeds themselves grew and dropped seeds.

After some time had passed, the Seed, which was now a towering tree, felt
crowded. There were many trees taking all the room, leaving no room for
new trees to grow. The tree pondered this. Many of the larger trees were
now tired, and needed a much longer rest than the brief cycle of darkness
provided. Thus the seed thought. This was difficult, as it was not a need
that the Tree itself felt. After an age of thinking, a need was born, and
fire arrived. The fire burned down some of the trees, allowing the larger
trees a long rest, and providing the smaller trees space to grow.

After several more ages, the Tree itself grew tired, and needed to rest,
and so went to sleep. After only a short while, the tree found itself
being woken up, as, without the need of the Tree for guidance, fire was
out of control. Once again, need arose. Thus, a seed was formed, larger
than others before it, and fell to the ground. It rapidly grew and split
in a burst of fire. Thus was born Feukor, god of fire. The Tree,
satisfied, went to sleep once more. However, it was once again woken
before it was completely rested, this time, by Feukor.

"As you have made me out of need, I ask that you also create others. For
try as I might, I cannot move the water, air or earth from places where
they no longer are needed to places where they are required."

The tree thought, and a need was once again detected. The first to split
did so in a splash of water, signaling the birth of Sharha, goddess of
water. The next split into a clod of dirt, which then fell apart to
reveal Angkor, god of the earth. The last to split did so in with a gust
of wind. Thus was Vonlam, goddess of the air born.

Comments/Criticisms/suggestions??

--
Marcel

On Feb 26, 10:03 am, Marcel Beaudoin <marcel.beaud... RemoveThis @gmail.com>
wrote:

> Comments/Criticisms/suggestions??
>

Interesting. It would seem to be a good myth for druids...

- Justisaur